**WARNING: TRIGGER: ABORTION STORY/FOOTAGE
Oprah says, “Everybody’s got a story!” True story! Everybody’s got issues too. If you don’t deal with life’s issues, you will wind up being one of the “walking wounded” – someone who has been damaged or defeated psychologically or emotionally by their experiences in life. If you harbor the emotions you will also wind up physically ill, maybe even die prematurely.
What is it that makes the difference between someone who rises ABOVE their circumstances and someone who is beaten down by them? Gavin DeBecker, author of several best-seller books, and three-time presidential appointee and the nation’s best-known expert on the prediction and management of violence. writes about this issue in The Gift of Fear. He shares how meeting with a group of recovering addicts graduating from a social program within one prison he was asked to discuss with them his own experience of growing up. He shared, “Before I was thirteen, I saw a man shot, I saw another beaten and kicked to unconsciousness, I saw a friend struck near lethally in the face and head with a steel rod, I saw my mother become a heroin addict, I saw my sister beaten, and I was myself a veteran of beatings that had been going on for more than half my life.” They wanted to know what made the difference between him being on the OUTSIDE of the prison, and them being on the INSIDE. He credits his 5th grade teacher with having invested in him and making him feel worthwhile…giving him the connection to self-worth.
I would also add that it had to be more something WITHIN him. He had to embrace an attitude of forgiveness. He had to work through the emotions of what had happened to him.
Following is the testimony of a very dear friend of mine, after she participated in an Emotional Release session as taught by CARE, facilitated by our dear friend, Heather Brock.
“I have never liked lavender, but have tried to since it seems to be a favorite of midwives. When I got to Carla Hartley’s house last Wednesday, (for an oils training workshop) she was so lovely to diffuse a generous amount in my room. I couldn’t breathe! My chest felt so heavy. 2 days later, I learned that it is associated with abandonment issues. Explains a lot.
God used the Emotional Release class that Friday to go deep down into these emotional wounds and bring about great healing. And now I don’t hate lavender anymore!”
(* Note: For more information on which oils are associated with which emotions, see: Releasing Emotional Patterns with Essential Oils, by Carolyn Mein. Your appreciation of pure therapeutic grade essential oils will change depending on the emotional issues you are dealing with……or NOT dealing with! If you ever do NOT LIKE an oil, it’s probably an emotional issue.)
You may think that is pretty insignificant, but it is JUST SO NOT EVEN A LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT if you know her story. Terri is a very dear woman, a believer in Jesus, a fellow AAMI student, a Trust Birth conference speaker, founder of Birth Freedom Network.
Here is her story:
“I am writing this and making it public because even today, we talk about babies in the womb and abortion as philosophical concepts. But they are PEOPLE. They can’t tell you that. Aborted “fetuses” cannot speak to you and tell you what they feel and know. But I can. I remember. And I speak for the millions of babies whose lives are violently torn from them, in the name of choice.
I am Terri, and I am an abortion survivor.
I remember. Babies who are aborted feel pain. I don’t give a flying flip when the politicians have determined that a baby is “pain capable.” That is baloney. Babies know. Babies feel. No matter WHEN the abortion happens, they know. And they feel. I remember conception. I remember the abortion. I remember rejecting my mother long before I was ever born, and that memory happened before I knew my story. I didn’t know why I had rejected her, but now that is painfully obvious. I don’t hate her. I do forgive her. I am sad for the pain she must have been in to make such a decision. But know this. Her pain does not remotely compare to the pain my twin felt when she was aborted, nor to the pain I felt when she was violently ripped from me. Not even close. It came unbidden, out of nowhere. I drove home from work, and my sister’s song “Separate Ways” by Journey played. I reflected on her leaving as she was aborted. “If you must go, I wish you love. You’ll never walk alone. Take care, my love. Miss you love. Someday love will find you; break those chains that bind you. One night will remind you how we touched and went our separate ways.” But I’ve listened to this a hundred times before and thought of her. Tonight was very different. The full force of the memory of the abortion slammed me out of nowhere, with a furious intensity that even I had never experienced before. I remembered. I remembered her literally being sucked away from me. My reaching for her. She had shoved me, kicked me out of the way just before, and we were being ripped apart from each other, with a violence that no human should ever have to experience. We were tiny babies. But we knew each other. And we loved each other. It’s like she was part of me. And the “boo” (I used to cry out as a baby in fear of “the boo.” Now I know what it was.) the boo came and sucked her away. But she didn’t die immediately. She felt it. She KNEW what was happening to her. And I did too. And I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t save her. I screamed. She screamed. Terror. Anguish. Pain. And then quiet. She was gone. And I was alone. Where once had been two was only me. And God quieted me with His love. I had to be invisible. So she wouldn’t know I was still there yet.
Someone commented recently, “So the silent scream is real?” Yes. It is. I felt it tonight as the memory came back with the most violent intensity I have ever experienced, and every cell of my body screamed NOOOOOOOOO! As I drove, I screamed with everything within me – Noooo, noooo, nooooo, nooooo! Tears streamed down my face clouding my view as sobs racked my body. I am not sure how I stayed on the road.
The memories of losing my sister are so vivid and real. It is the deepest, most gut-level grief I have ever experienced.”
Silent Scream….WARNING TRIGGER…..ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF ABORTION
Poem my daughter wrote for me – from my aborted twin sister’s perspective
by Angel LaPoint on Friday, August 24, 2012 at 12:58pm ·
“Those of us who write anything: poems, songs, stories, know that sometimes God wants us to write something specific. No matter what time it is. I got this at around 3 am. It is a poem from my mother’s twin sister to my mother. For those of you who don’t know, my mother found out at the beginning of this year that her mother tried to abort her, and succeeded in aborting her twin sister. This poem is from God and my aunt but it was written down by me. There is no way I could have written this on my own.”
My Love, My Life, My Sister
I could have changed the world. I know I would have changed yours.
I could have been a singer, a dancer, an actress.
I could have simply been a mother, a sister, a wife.
I could have been anything I wanted; but I never got the chance.
My life was taken from me before I had the chance to live it; but you survived.
I knew I was going to die, even though I didn’t want to.
I knew I had a choice to save you or to take you with me.
I pushed you out of the way, to safety, to God’s arms.
Our mother took my life; I couldn’t let her take yours.
One of us had to live to fulfill all God has planned.
My choice was made for me, you can still make yours.
Go my love, my sister, my twin; go and live the life you choose to live.
The life I never got.
I will always be with you, watching you, happy.
We will meet again, someday, and when that day comes, nothing and no one can separate us.
(*My comments: You may have trouble believing someone could remember being in the womb, but there is quite a bit of evidence available to collaborate what Terri speaks about. I’ve personally talked to several people who have memories pre-birth. That is a subject for another day, or perhaps a rabbit trail for you.)
You may be familiar with the name Gianna Jessen, she herself an abortion survivor, speaker and singer who has shares her story publicly. The recent movie, October Baby depicts the story of a young woman when she discovers she was adopted along with the additional information that her birth mother had tried to abort her. It delves into the issue of post-abortion syndrome, touches on Gianna’s story and features some of her music.
More from Terri: “The more I learn about post-abortion syndrome, the more I realize that my mother’s behavior through the years is NOT a mystery. Nobody has ever been able to really figure her out, and I’ve heard everything from schizophrenia to bi-polar, but the closest I could ever figure out was borderline personality disorder. But now I finally know that her behavior is actually quite predictable and expected for someone who has had abortions. Her responses to me, whom she thought she had aborted, are very normal for someone in her place. It makes it so much easier for me to forgive her and have compassion on her. It makes sense now. I cannot imagine what she has been through. And I realize that there are millions of women going through this on some level. I know it affects different people differently. The myth is that an abortion “takes care” of the problem. The reality is that the problems just get started with abortion. First of all, there are the possible PHYSICAL dangers, which are all too common: perforated uterus, nicked bowel, hemorrhage, etc. If she ends up going to the emergency room later, it isn’t connected in the medical records to the abortion. I have friends who are ER nurses in various parts of the country who see the fallout of botched abortions all the time. Then, of course, there is the devastation to the baby, usually death.
But now I have learned that there are over 44 THOUSAND abortion survivors in the US alone! For us, there are emotional consequences that have haunted us all our lives, even though many of us had no clue about the origin of these things.
On some level, there are memories and long-lasting psychological ramifications. And finally, there are the devastating psychological ramifications for the mother. She may not acknowledge them, or they may not surface for some time. She may formulate an alternate reality in order to cope. But nobody tells her before the “procedure” of the risks of long-term psychological damage, including depression, or personality disorders. I know I had no clue.
How MANY of the women walking around us every day are haunted by the memory of abortion, and how many men? We have become a generation of the walking wounded.
I am reminded of this passage in Isaiah 42:22 – 23 (from the chapter that the Lord had me read every single day for more than a month years ago – now I know why) –
22 But this is a people plundered and looted, all of them trapped in pits or hidden away in prisons. They have become plunder, with no one to rescue them; they have been made loot, with no one to say, “Send them back.” (Lit. “restore” in Hebrew) 23 Which of you will listen to this or pay close attention in time to come?
** My comments: If this story hits home for you, you CAN overcome, there IS HOPE. Terri embraced forgiveness early in her journey and you can do it now. The oils are incredibly helpful in moving through with painful emotions, past and present.
Terri, you know I love you. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for speaking out. Blessings to you.
3 John 2 “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may PROSPER and be in GOOD HEALTH, just as your SOUL PROSPERS.”
Some sources used:
- The Gift of Fear, Gavin DeBecker